Before coming to Birthtalk, I felt very sad and anxious about birth, and in particular my ability to birth, and really didn’t believe my body could do it.
After my first caesarean, I was mentally consumed with failure and guilt and although I was determined to connect with my baby and make sure she was never blamed, I certainly felt a failure.
I tried to have a VBAC and went to labour naturally and without any support, and decided to have a C-section when I was 5cm as I was so scared, it hurt and Tim was no good as a support because he didn’t know what to do either. I thought I was happy that I went into labour naturally and yet later I was so disappointed that I gave up so easily.
With my VBA2C, I had much more power in my hands and experience and Tim was coached and led by our Doula who was great. I used positive affirmations, read positive stuff about birthing bodies. I felt after that although my birth wasn’t perfect, I felt like the power to birth was back in my hands and not the doctors.
In hindsight, I wish I had access to Birthtalk before I had my previous babies. Especially knowing now the need for support from women who had birth experience, someone that you could build up a relationship with. Someone to phone when things started to go haywire – as Debby was when I had a show and labour stopped. The “Healing From Birth” support group is good to debrief also no matter what your birth.
Birthtalk provided me with a safe environment with people who had some idea of the mental trauma my previous births was having on my life. I was physically ok, and yet mentally consumed by my failure in this area. Birthtalk helped me to put into perspective my previous births, and how I can use that knowledge to be empowered and proactive in my last birth. I feel mentally healed and birthing does not consume my every thought now. I feel it has broken the guilty and restricting bonds that I had tied myself in.